The Mercury That Could Be

Ever since the 2nd generation Focus launched in Europe, American enthusiasts have pined for it. It's a fantastic car, with refined styling, a high-quality interior and fantastic chassis dynamics. And the ST220 version, with the same 2.5T I-5 found in the Volvo S40, gives the VW GTI a run for its money. Look at it...is that a sweet car, or what?

Anyway, Ford of Europe just came out with another pretty sweet ride that our shores will never see. The new Mondeo (you may have noticed it in the latest Bond movie) is a credible competitor to the VW Passat. While slightly smaller than the US market Fusion, its interior has a level of refinement way past anything sold in this market by the Blue Oval.

Ford tried to bring the Mondeo to the US over a decade ago, as the Contour and Mystique. But the car was a bit small inside and expensive to sell as a Ford product. The fact is, if Ford tried this ploy again, it would probably meet with similar results, as the new car is even higher quality and more expensive.

On the plus side, the new model has grown to the point that American consumers would feel comfortable inside. And that consumer is gradually getting over the notion that price must always have a direct relationship with size. Cars like the Mini Cooper and latest generation GTI are chipping away at this mentality.

Still, Ford's brand image would have a tough time supporting prices like those required to sell the Euro Focus and Mondeo at a profit here. The fact is, Ford would need a clean slate to launch these cars. And as luck would have it, they pretty much have one.

What is Mercury to the American consumer? Well, I think if you ask most people, you'll hear something like, "Well, I guess it's a little more expensive than Ford." Aside from that, people really have no idea what the brand stands for.

The Sword of Damocles has been hanging over Mercury's head for a while. What's the point of this brand? people ask. Well, here's an easy answer. Suggest bringing Euro Fords to the US as Mercurys to a Ford exec and he'll probably come back at you with something like, "Well, it would be too expensive to bring it in line with US regulations." We in the business like to apply a highly technical term to this line of reasoning. It's called bullshit.

Of course General Motors got over this hurdle before Ford, and has begun importing cars from its other divisions around the globe. The Aussie Holden Commodore will be the Pontiac G8, and several Euro Opels will be joining the fun as Saturns.

The Saturn Experiment 2.0 got off to a shaky start last year, though the brand has begun to gain ground. And the real test will be in the form of the new Vue (an Opel Antara) and Astra. The former has arrived here already, with the latter set to check in shortly. These cars are true Opels, unlike the Aura which is simply a classed-up Pontiac G6. Saturn's climb out of the brand doldrums will be slow, but they have the right product, and that is the only right way to execute a brand renaissance.

So will Ford see the light? It's likely that after Saturn has completed its metamorphosis, Ford will take a look and get a severe case of margin envy. By then, though, the Mercury brand may already be 6 feet under. Ford, do yourselves a favor and make a move now, while the gettin's good.

The sky is falling!!! ...and other myths

With apologies to AutoWeek, the automotive apocolypse is not nigh. You will not have to relearn how to drive when you buy your next car. Nor will that car be so ugly that you'll have to use the back door at your country club.

I refer to the email that my friend Michelle forwarded me, in which it was proclaimed:

"This is the new Mercedes Benz SCL600."

It continued by showing pictures of the car and claiming that the really unique thing about the car was its interior:

"No steering wheel, you drive it with a joystick. No pedals either. Can you drive with a joystick? Your kids and grandkids probably can. The influence of video games in our lives has really arrived, wouldn't ya say? SCARY THOUGHT THAT NOW A 7 YEAR OLD COULD STEAL YOUR CAR AND PROBABLY DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU."

You've gotta love the alarmist myths that circulate by email. Just go to sites like snopes.com and you'll see how many ridiculous things people will believe.

Okay, so let's set this one straight. Yes, this car existed. No, it's not "the new Mercedes Benz SCL600". In fact this car is the F 200 Imagination concept from the Paris Motor Show back in...wait for it...1996. That's right, 11 years ago. (Thanks to Markus for finding this one.)

What's so bizarre about this is not that emails are circulating trying to scare people into thinking that the days of the steering wheel are over. It's that these pictures started resurfacing in June (according to what I've seen) in posts by "auto enthusiasts" as the SCL600. These are people who claim to actually like cars, and talk as if they know what the hell is going on. But its headlights are dead ringers for the last-gen S-Class and its grille is similar to the one on the SLK concept. This car would never be mistaken for a contemporary concept by anyone who knows anything about auto design. I think it's only fair for the people who posted these pics be punished with the sentence of having to drive around a car with an ass like this for the next year.

The Wonders of Magnesium

Ugh, enough Mitsubishi! We don't care about your magnesium paddle shifters. Please don't tell me that anyone is truly being swayed by this little product attribute. Sure, BMW uses magnesium for some of its engine blocks, and this light and strong metal has some legitimate benefit in this application. Would these tiny paddles be so heavy if they were made out of another metal; would they be so weak if they were made of plastic? Simple answer: no. The new Lancer looks pretty sweet. We don't need cheap ploys to get excited about it.

Yee haaaaaaaa!!!!

I've got a decent vocabulary. I'm fairly proud of my writing style. I consider myself an effective and engaging communicator. But I've come to a subject for which I have no words. It is the following:

Okay, I lied. Of course I have words, but don't expect them to capture the true essence of what it's like to drive this car.

The Lotus Exige S is...money. While it possesses all of the flaws of the Elise--and then some (the center rearview mirror is 100% for show, as there is no rear window)--that little S stands for a lot. It adds as supercharger to the 4-cylinder that comes standard in the base Elise and Exige, hence the need for the Exige's fastback bodystyle, which raises the rear deck. It bumps the horsepower from 190 to 220, and it brings this car to life. The direct connection to the road is still there, but much moreso than in the non-S version that was in the Elise I drove, the sense of urgency from the gas pedal is utterly addictive. I have never driven a car that, for all its flaws, was so utterly perfect.

And with that I'll leave you with an image of the door sill I had to hurdle to get into these Loti. Bear in mind, we lacked the tool we needed to remove the roof, so the opening I had to squeeze through was much narrower.

Livin' the fantasy...

So as part of my new job, I get to drive some serious metal. Since I started I've been handed the keys to a GTI, a Subaru STI, a Legacy Spec.B, and over the past week a brand new Audi TT, a Lotus Elise and a BMW M6. Let the envy commence. On top of that, they have some serious roads here that beg to be carved. But with great power comes great responsibility, so I feel the obligation to provide a few impressions of some of these cars. All of the pictures I've included are color correct for the cars I drove.

The GTI was a blast on the twisty mountain roads here. It's balance is superior to that of my MkIV VR6, and its limits are higher. But the engine is not as sweet, especially at the low revs. The fact is, this car is clearly more fun in high performance situations, but I would still prefer my car overall, since the day to day satisfaction of my car in around-town driving is higher.

The WRX STI Limited was an absolute joy. In contrast to the GTI's more damped steering, the STI is purely telepathic. Going from one car to another, it takes a few minutes to get used to the fact that once you even think about being somewhere in the Subaru, the car is already there.

Like the GTI, there is the inevitable turbo lag. Sure, the manufacturers and buff books talk a lot about the new generation of turbos having no lag, but I'm here to say IT'S NOT TRUE. The lag may be reduced, but at the end of the day, it's still a 4-cylinder, and the full power is not there until the revs go up. I actually drove an '08 Porsche Cayenne Turbo a few months ago, and it even had substantial lag. Turbos are great technology, but the saying about there being no replacement for displacement is 100% true. If you have any doubt about this, try rolling through a stop sign in 2nd gear with a turbo four, or creeping along in traffic using only the clutch.

Quite honestly, there's not much I can say about the M6 that hasn't already been said by all the buff books. It's powerful and refined, with a great exhaust note. Our car procurer was able to get this car with a stick, and loaded to the gills. When you sit inside, literally every surface you touch is leather, alcantara or carbon fiber. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend you pick one up. Everything about the Elise is absurd, from the experience of unlocking and getting into the car, to the experience of driving it. First of all, it should be noted that the only engineering Lotus is willing to do involves chassis dynamics. Everything else is outsourced, from the engine (it's a Toyota Celica mill) to the alarm system to the stereo. It's got one of those alarm fobs on which the same button locks and unlocks the doors. This is confusing, and stupid. It also has a separate locking system...even stupider. Getting in is a truly acrobatic act. I can't really fathom how people who are old enough to afford this car--it's a second car, never a primary driver--can possibly be young enough to actually get into it. Once you manage to insert yourself into this contraption, starting it can be a bit confusing. Quite honestly I don't know why it took me so long to start it up, but it clearly has something to do with that damn alarm system. Lean across the cockpit to open the passenger window--there's no switch for that on the driver's door...it's not needed since the car's so damn small.

Once it was cranked, getting it out of the parking spot was slightly more challenging than usual, due to the lack of power steering. In Santa Barbara, the parking lot exits have big dips, which can be a challenge for a car about 4" from the ground. They must be taken on an angle. Hit a manhole cover and you KNOW it. I can imagine events like that in the Elise feel similar to the way they did in a Model T, but with less rebound. Once you're up in the hills, the car is absolutely delicious. At speed, the lack of power steering isn't an issue, and the response is even more telepathic than the STI's...of course. Okay, well, maybe the power steering thing makes it a bit more interesting. In fact, when I was taking some quick hairpins, it was pure armstrength that kept me on line. I could feel the road trying to straighten the wheel, yanking it through my fingers. It was the most direct connection to a road I've ever experienced.

One of the best parts of driving the Elise is the gawks...especially in a bright yellow one. Clearly I'm the kind of person who craves attention, so this is perfect. The Lotus is just the type of car I need to validate my self worth.

Note: We have an Exige S in the parking lot as well. I'm assuming I'll get a chance to drive it this week, so I can give you my impressions when I do.

Last, but not least, is the Audi TT 3.2 quattro. As those of you who regularly read my blog know, I love my engine, and would love to own the 3.2L version. The only car available with this engine and a 6-speed manual is the TT. I've been tossing around the idea of stretching my budget to pick one up, so I relished this opportunity to toss this car around a bit. The only problem was that this model was the DSG version, which is an automated manual with paddle shifters. This transmission is truly better than the other autosticks I've driven, but the fact is that a true manual is still more fun.

Okay, so aside from the letdown with the tranny, what did I think? Well, the handling is fantastic. It's limits aren't as high as cars like the STI or M6, but the handling is neutral, and with the suspension in sport mode, there's basically no roll. The engine is sweetness defined...everything I love about my 2.8L multiplied by 1.14.

Unfortunately the cockpit is a bit cramped. Okay, well "a bit" is an understatement. I don't know how tall people can fit in there, cause I'm pretty short and I didn't have more than a few inches of roof clearance. The seat was also a bit fatiguing. I found myself noticing some discomfort around the same time each time I drove the car. Some other nits to pick include the lack of a center armrest (except for a small pad mounted on top of the parking brake) and cup holders which are strangely small.

Will I buy one? Well, probably not. As you may have noticed, I place a lot of value on the little things, and there are a bit too many negatives that add up in this car, especially one that costs an arm and a leg. But you never know. The ogle factor is pretty strong in this car, obviously in large part because of its newness. But I loved the feeling of seeing four young guys turn in unison and watch me drive by with longing looks in their eyes. It made me feel so much cooler than I actually am.

BOD Camaro

Thanks to Autoblog for this find: The '67 Camaro from the movie Better Off Dead, starring John Cusack, is in good hands. Some guy tracked it down, bought it, restored it, and has now put up a website that chronicles his journey: http://www.betteroffdeadcamaro.com/.

When I was younger I absolutely loved this movie, and of course the car. It's probably one of the best looking Camaros ever made, and the fact that it is now in pristine condition in the hands of a loving owner (and will likely stay that way) brings a tear to my eye. Oh, and of course the restoration of the car in the movie is such a classic '80s movie montage.

Mitsu Redux

The new Lancer is a great looking car, especially in Evo guise. Ironic, then, that this comes as a result of a backtrack in Mitsubishi's styling department. While they don't look exactly the same, the new Lancer shares its stance and shark-nosed front end with the previous generation Galant. Just further proof that stylists looking to make a statement often fail to think through their designs, releasing cars to the market that do not pass the "gag test". Case in point:

And...

'Nuff said.