The Toll of Power

It's been shown time and again that the burdens of power can wreak havoc on one's appearance. Recently, many have discussed the visual transformation of George W. Bush over the course of his presidency.

The auto business can be particularly harsh on the physique, and recently attention was drawn to the transformation of Jim Press, as the former industry heavyweight's gig with Chrysler didn't quite work out as hoped.

Another casualty, which I just noticed today, is Dieter Zetsche, of Daimler AG. He rode Chrysler all the way down the tube, and looks worse for the wear. A few years ago, he looked young and vibrant despite his shiny pate. Now he just looks like an old man.

Poor Dieter. Hopefully his millions will console him.

Shameless Re-post

I usually try not to repost items from other blogs, but Autoblog featured something I just had to get up on my site. From the blog James Spotting comes the press release from Russian car company Dartz, which has decided to no longer offer a leather option on its Prombron model that included hides from the foreskin of whales.

Here is the text of the release, since it's so priceless:

ARMORED CAR WITHOUT PENIS. LET’S SAVE THE WHALES.

One month ago DARTZ presented uberluxury armored car with whale penis interior - PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBaltique), lot of people name this car as DARTZ.KOMBAT. As the world’s resonance was very huge and DARTZ got lot of angry e-mails from Greenpeace, WWF and also Pamela Anderson, DARTZ make strong decision to stop their plans regarding such interior.

“We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want - to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. Our brand was started at 1869 when in Riga was opened Coach Factory or Russo Baltiysky Vagonnij Zavod - PBVZ, and first products was luxury train coaches. At 1907 was made a decision to open Car Department, and at 1909 first car left factory - the name of this car was RussoBalt. This was luxury and sport cars. At 1911 specially for Monaco Rally car got french style name - RussoBaltique. At 1912 factory made world first 4 x 4 wheel drive car, and at 1914 - armored car. All we want to unite luxury and armoring traditions of RussoBalt factory in one car, which brand celebrated 100 years now. At 1922 RussoBalt was renamed to PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBalt).

We just looking for most expensive products for this car - and that’s why we choosed whale penis leathure when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: “Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep You live! We don’t Earth fall down to Ocean!”

Also we make a decision to pay more attention to glass and on our new car model we will use glass which will be made by special technology - from artificial grown chrystals, which will be gold sputerred to cut IR and UV rays, which make driving inconvinient when sun shine.

Best regards,
Leonard F. Yankelovich
DARTZ.EU

I could think of little more than how lucky we are that the three whales holding up planet Earth are no longer in danger of being forced to enter Abraham's covenant against their will.

But I was also curious about the scale of use of this material. It turns out it's called Minke Dork, and it's taken from the member of a Minke whale. Its use was "pioneered", if you can call it that, by Sruli Recht, a Jewish fashion designer born in Jerusalem and living in Iceland. I wonder where he finds someone big enough to hold the whale during its bris.

Deutschland, Part 6

My second day in Stuttgart was spent at the Mercedes-Benz Museum. While I wasn't able to do the factory tour, it worked out fine, since I spent about nine hours at the museum. If you ever find yourself near Stuttgart, I highly recommend stopping by, as this architectural marvel (as seemingly all German automotive museums are) makes for a fascinating experience.

The main exhibit started at the top of an awesome shaft of elevators, where they showed you videos projected on the wall through the elevator glass. At the top you are confronted by a stuffed horse with the following inscription:

From there, you encounter the coolest part of the museum, which only Mercedes-Benz can offer, essentially a chronicle of the concurrent invention of the automobile by two men who apparently never met: Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler.

Starting with the first internal combustion engine, the so-called "Grandfather Clock":

It continues with the first car:

And then on to the evolution and adaptation for myriad uses:

Throughout the exhibit there was plenty of world history gracing the walls, to give you a good context in which to discover the cars. Eventually you get to some of the most beautiful cars ever to grace the road, the 300SLs, including the Gullwing coupe:

They even had a special exhibit which chronicled the evolution of the E-Class:

Needless to say, this museum was the subject of endless fascination for me. I was impressed beyond my expectations, though I can't imagine your stay would be near as long as mine.

A Stay of Execution

Best. Weekend. Ever!

Last year I acquired my MG in September, and I'd worried that I wouldn't have much time left in the season to enjoy it. But I got lucky, and we had a beautiful October, which allowed me to bond with the Green Monster before I had to shut it away in a lonely garage for the winter.

This year the pattern of alternating years for the weather in Michigan was looking likely to hold up, with most of the October after I returned from Germany dreary, cold and rainy, generally unfit to enjoy the finer aspects of British motoring.

But then came this weekend. While not exactly a full-on Indian summer--the temps topped out in the 60s--it was sunny and gorgeous all weekend. Astoundingly perfect conditions for my little toy.

It started out wonderfully, with a first date with a beautiful girl. I picked her up for lunch--Sushi Samurai in West Bloomfield was great--and then we just drove around for a while, exploring the town and looking for a hidden castle. It was uber-romantic, and perhaps the best first date I've ever had. Dinner's overrated.

Today I met my friend Chris and his parents for a drive with his A5 and his dad's classic Mini Cooper. We drove some fantastic roads Northwest of Ann Arbor, stopping briefly in Hell and then at a cider mill in Pinckney.

Here's a picture of our cars, which happens to be in the order in which we drove, since Chris' fully modern sports coupe can burn our LBCs easily, and of the two classic drivers, I was the more aggressive/insane one, so each of us got to stretch our cars' legs at our own preferred pace.

Quite honestly, I don't know if this holds any interest for anyone reading this, but I couldn't resist the urge to gloat about/appreciate this final opportunity of the year to enjoy the MGB.

Deutschland, Part 5

And now we come to the event that I'd been dreaming about for months, perhaps years: the Porsche factory and museum in Zuffenhausen, a suburb of Stuttgart. While I was disappointed with not getting my act together for this trip two years ago--the Frankfurt Auto Show is only every other year, so I had to wait until this year--the timing of my trip was fairly auspicious, since the Porsche Museum has only been open since January. Not only that, but I happened to go on 9/11, which was just a function of my trip timing, and were it not for the horrific event that Americans associate with it, this would be a joyous coincidence.

Upon entering the building, I got a good look at the shop where exhibit cars are restored and maintained.

But my first order of business upon arrival was to make sure I could get a tour of the factory. At first, the woman at the desk apologized, but there would be no English tour today. Sunken-hearted, I was about to slink off in despair, when the woman behind her said she had just talked to someone else on the phone (literally while I was talking to the first woman) and had found out there would be an English tour, and it started in a half hour. Now that's luck.

I was fortunate enough to tour the plant where the 911, Boxster and Cayman are born. They also make all of their engines here, and it was quite a treat to see them being essentially hand-assembled. This was our first stop on the tour, and as I was watching a worker lovingly lay a camshaft in a cylinder head, the tour guide explained that this was the only plant in Germany where workers are allowed to have a beer with lunch.

There were two engine lines, one for the traditional flat-six engines that Porsche has used almost since the beginning of time, and running parallel to that, the line for the V8 engines that are used in the front of the Cayenne and the Panamera. Luckily we were standing over the flat-six line. I wouldn't want it any other way.

It’s a very relaxed environment, and this is by design. Porsche has timed the speed of the line minutely so that it is going neither too fast (which would lead to undue stress) nor too slow (sloth makes quality suffer, too). It used to be a one worker/one engine process, but with the addition of a few robots (only for some bolts) this has changed a bit.

We got to see the factory’s leather shop, which apparently also sets this plant apart from its peers in Germany, who usually outsource this work. The cows are all sourced from the Alps (what was that California was saying about “happy cows”?), and up to 10 hides are used per interior. The coolest part about it is how the hides are cut. Not with blades or lasers, which could damage them, but with high pressure water jets. So cool!

In the main assembly building, it was a joy to see the complex ballet of movement whereby the cars are transported between two levels, and automatically rotated to face forward after they leave the elevator to head the other way. The guide claimed this led to increased quality, perhaps purely from the mental effect on the workers. There were far fewer robots on the Porsche line than at the Audi plants, and especially the subsequent Volkswagen plant in Wolfsburg. Porsche workers also seemed to possess the pinnacle of pride, as one would expect. They seemed to be generally older, which is natural, since they are surely paid more for a higher level of skill.

While none of the factory tours I attended allowed photography, I do have a picture I took later of the building in which the first Porsche--the 356--was assembled.

After the tour I went back to enjoy the museum at a leisurely pace. It is a beautiful work of architecture, and the exhibits are encountered in a downward spiral around the building. The first picture is from Wikipedia, cause how cool is the building at night, right? The rest are mine, since I only got to experience it during the day.

I've got plenty of other pictures from the museum, but here's a representative one. It's my favorite Porsche of all time, the 356 Speedster, and it was the exact right color combo. Incidentally, I'm trying to convince my dad to pull the trigger on his purchase of the BMW Z8 he really wants in this color combo. Just do it, dad!

I'll leave you with one of the highlights of the museum, which was the staff firing up a 911 race car and revving the engine for the crowd which quickly gathered. Actually it's a fairly small museum, so pretty much everyone in attendance was huddled around the car. According to a security guard, they do it once a day, just to thrill the museum goers.

After leaving the museum, I crossed the street to the dealership that was on-site. It was marvelous, and doubled as an event center. Here's a sculpture that was inside:

Which brings to mind an interesting contrast versus Audi. While I was on the Ingolstadt plant tour, a couple expressed interest in buying an Audi, especially since the tour had gotten their blood pumping. The tour guide said that they would have to go to a dealer, but there was none on-site. Audi, unlike every other company, seems to be missing a great opportunity here. The dealership attached to the Mercedes museum was massive, and rightfully so. What better place to buy a new Mercedes than at the Mercedes museum?

Having spent an entire day frolicking among the maximum Porschetude, I was spent. But I was definitely looking forward to the next day, which was the Mercedes museum, also in Stuttgart. Until then, auf wiedersehen!

A Flash of Idiocy

I just watched the movie "Flash of Genius", which tells the story of Dr. Robert Kearns, who was ripped off by Detroit, when they violated his patent for the intermittent windshield wiper. The movie portrays Kearns' "flash of genius" moment occurring when his Ford's wipers are moving too fast for the light rain, and creating that rubbing sound we all hate when the windshield surface is too dry.

Interestingly, the Wikipedia entry tells a slightly different story, claiming that "the constant movement of the wiper blades irritated his already troubled vision." This alludes to another aspect of the story, which was in the movie, where we find out that he popped a champagne cork in his eye on his wedding night, leaving him partially blind.

But fair enough, the movie acknowledges the fact that the genius of Kearns' invention was that it allowed wipers to be slowed down for use in light rain. What annoyed the hell out of me, though, was how they portrayed his testing of the invention in the movie. The sky opens up, and Kearns grabs his whole family to go for a ride. He switches on the intermittent wipers, and exclaims at how perfect it is. But he does this during an epic downpour, the precise situation when the intermittent setting is least effective. There's a camera shot out the windshield, and you can't see a damn thing, cause the wipers are going to slow. You can even see how hard it's raining in the movie poster.

Is it me, or did the director blow one of most important shots in the movie. When you have an ah-hah! moment, you've got to get it right. Were they too impatient to wait for the right amount of rain? Come on, Hollywood, Dr. Kearns is owed better.

Deutschland, Part 4

I've been stalling. I promised to get to the telling of my time in Stuttgart, and I've put it off for a few posts. The pressure of describing the juiciest part of the trip has gotten to me a little. And tonight's no different. Instead of regaling you with tales of the Porsche factory and the Mercedes museum, tonight you only get a taste of the city itself. Quite honestly most of the people I bribe to read this blog will be more interested in this anyway.

My hostel in Stuttgart, Inter-Hostel, was a very friendly one, if not the busiest of my stops. Stuttgart is relatively minor on the list of tourist towns in Germany, with the exception of the car buffs. When I got to the hostel, there were two guys at the front desk, and one of the offered to show me around that night. My room was on the 6th floor. The place had no elevator, and my pack was pretty heavy. On top of that, at the top of the spirally staircase, I found that the key they gave me opened the wrong door, but I decided to crash in the room that it opened, rectifying the situation on my way out to dinner.

Aside from the labor of getting to a comfy bed, the sixth floor did have its advantages. This was the view from my window.

While Stuttgart is not that touristy, it does have a US military presence, and I wound up meeting a couple of Navy dudes and hanging out with them for a while. One of them even joined my little hostel group for a drink at the bar.

After coming back from dinner, another American happened to be sharing the 6th floor suite of two private rooms, but he complained that his room (the room I was supposed to have gotten) smelled like smoke and he was kinda allergic. After going up to assess the situation, I realized that it didn't smell that bad to me, and Lance, an Asian guy from San Fran, seemed like a pretty decent guy, so I made the swap. Good call on my part.

I proceeded to hit the bar with Lance, the guy at the front desk from earlier, and the Navy dude. I spent the whole time talking cars with Lance, while the Navy guy, who turned out to be a little crazy, talked the ear off the German dude, who probably wanted to shoot himself. And Lance also gave me some friendly advice about my upcoming trip to the Nürburgring, which incidentally, he'd just done himself. Probably a bit more aggressively than I, since he said he'd learned all the corners through Gran Turismo, the video game. Finally, he told me to get to the Porsche museum by 9 to get on a factory tour, and he's the real reason I was able to do that tour. Thank you, Lance.

Well, that's really all I have to say about the city itself. To be perfectly honest, I neglected the conventionally touristy spots in Stuttgart for the sake of the automotive stuff...but what did you expect? Next post will be about the Porsche factory and museum, I swear!